The Graphic Tee Obsession

by

Mackenzie Patel

Hello World Travelers! Ever since that fateful day three years ago, when the thick impasto of paint and the glory of the frozen narrative was revealed to me , I’ve explored and uncovered the dynamic (and sometimes disturbing) world of art history.  Gobs of literature were thrown at me as well, and I was gratefully covered in bright red hues of Crime and Punishment and blood orange shades of The Sun Also Rises. Although it’s incredibly ironic that I’m such a visual person given my poor eyesight, I’m a closet t-shirt addict that loves anything beautiful and dorky pasted onto a cotton v-neck tee. A Monet painting splattered onto a polyester crew neck? A sarcastic quip by Holden Caulfield pasted onto a hipster black shirt? A suggestive pop culture lyric branded onto an Edward Hopper painting? My chest usually sports a kaleidoscope of culture, the images, snarky words, and light sabers standing out more boldly than Cara Delevingne’s statement eyebrows. Feast your eyes on these beauties—and the stories behind them—below.

• Camille Monet in the Garden at Argenteuil (1876) by Claude Monet

Creating a green paradise filled with ideality, an intangible breeze, and a shadow of a house, this image depicts Monet’s first wife, Camille (married in 1870) and their abundant garden. Bright poppies burst out of the cheap threads manufactured in China, their red glow dampened only by their fleeting nature. Monet kept residence at Argenteuil from 1871 to 1878, although his stay of perfection was riddled by the Franco-Prussian War. Interestingly, Monet was influenced by the canvases of Turner and Constable after taking refuge in England and the Netherlands. Chiefly, I find this painting incredibly calming, the vibrant jewel-tones and solitary figure forever embalmed in leafy peace. Neither violent death nor failing eyesight could taint this oasis, only sunflowers and oaks and sunlight.

• Summer Evening (1947) by Edward Hopper

I’ve written about this isolated but rich piece before, but its stark quality, disinterested inhabitants, and a suggestive love devoid of all passion or feeling still captivates me months later. The sterile light reveals everything—grimy shutters, bare shoulders and midriff, yellow hair—yet nothing seems truly genuine or natural. I’m prone to disillusionment, so perhaps that’s why this painting, usually interpreted as a budding teen romance complete with blond dewiness and lust, is a garden of thorns and dried lips to me. However, the Edward Hopper isn’t the best part of this cotton masterpiece. Imprinted onto the frozen characters are the words “We’re Up All Night To Get Lucky.” Heralding from the robotic land of Daft Punk, this techno beat, which peaked in “coolness” in 2013, is about midnight sex with girls that are addicted to sunrises. The vibe of disillusionment and impersonal humans rings throughout this compilation as well, making fun of the Hopper couple that obviously won’t “get lucky” tonight with sour looks, bad hair dye, and ill-fitting garments. Rad. co is a chic company based in the U.K. that takes art history to the extreme and flirts with the boundary between pop culture and high art.

• Catcher in the Rye (1951) by J. D. Salinger

More angsty than a musical anger rave by The Bots, this novel is the quintessential teen boy personification. With improper grammar, simple mindedness that nevertheless reveals indisputable truths, and jarring visions of cliff edges, the classic words are on every library shelf and lifeless eBook. Publishing his pocket bible for adolescence in 1951, J. D. Salinger created the iconic (and snarky) character of Holden Caulfield while also battling censorship issues in schools. Holden is famous for using the word “phony” to describe his youthful disenchantment with the glitzy falsity of New York and male boarding schools. He’s the ultimate ivy-leaguer gone wrong, the rich lawyer-in-training transforming into an introspective and humble outlaw. Thumbing his nose at Yale and Harvard, Holden analyses humans, both pretentious and seedy, in a way most adults are unable to do. This shirt, courtesy of the nerdfighters and John Green, broadcasts sarcasm like a gold medal of snarky humor. I wish I could rub “Holden Caulfield Thinks You’re A Phony” into the faces of several fake people I know, although they probably wouldn’t know who Jerome David Salinger is.

• The Sun Also Rises (1926) by Ernest Hemingway

The words of this drink-laden beauty have been rubbed raw by my enthusiasm, but Hemingway is the genius of wartime cynicism and game shooting in Africa. His paragraphs are like merlot, easy drinking, richly red, slightly burning to the throat, and bottomless. And classy to the hilt in moderation, of course. Mainly about a group of American expats flirting heavily with unpaid loans in Europe, this novel explores the shell shocked minds of the “lost generation.” Empty conversations in Parisian cafes and bullfights more meaningful than any wordsy exchange in Pamplona litter the book, the most telling line being “Isn’t it pretty to think so?” I’m enamored with this Lithograph creation because the literal words of THE BEST AMERICAN NOVEL IN EXISTENCE wrap around my chest with ease and tasteful style. The compelling narrative of Robert Cohn, Jake Barnes, and the illustrious Brett are composed into the shape of a bullfighter, his back arched with fear and pomp (mirroring the brashness of Pedro Romero). My back is a novel in black font and nylon with Hemingway dressing me in a harsh reality.

• Star Wars (1977) directed by George Lucas

Besides Hemingway novels and Legolas’ hair, light sabers are the most badass objects fashioned by human ingenuity. An American pop culture icon more famous than McDonalds or Donald Trump, Star Wars has spun countless fantasies of intergalactic travels, swords charged with electricity, and golden bikinis. The two Star Wars shirts that I own feature the dapper Darth Vader and the sage words of Master Yoda. Recently, I purchased a novel based off the adventures of Han Solo and Chewbacca, the wickedest Wookie in the land. The Force Awakens, the newest movie in the franchise, came out this December and is expected to break box office records with millions of dollars on opening weekend.

• Self Portrait (1986) by Andy Warhol

I tend to receive strange looks when I wear a shirt plastered with the gaunt, sickly, and haunting face of an aged hipster, but I love it nonetheless. Warhol was a superstar in love with the projected image of himself—one of glitz, unreality, showers of praise, and celebrities. Like Dali, he was obsessed with fame and mortality, a deadly combination that leads to killer art and a mental state more disturbed than a Freudian analysis. Although his numerous self portraits could be seen as conceited, I find them poignant and telling of his mighty inferiority complex. His panache was purely theatrical, and beneath the glittery surface, he was insecure and desperate to distinguish himself from the mass of Expressionists littering the American art scene. Unlike Rembrandt, his self portraits were lithographs and contoured in a way so every feature, every white wisp of hair, and every striking expression was orchestrated carefully for the utmost drama. I bought this stretched out cotton tee at the Dali Museum store in St. Petersburg, Florida during the “Warhol: Art, Fame, Mortality” exhibition. Find a review of that exhibition here.

• Surrealist Poster (1934) by Salvador Dali

Dali and his overly peculiar and sexual art will always secure a special nook of weirdness in my heart. His eccentricities, not to mention his wild dark eyes and mustache, were my steady companion for two years at the Dali Museum downtown. Last summer, I worked as an intern there and wore this marvelous gray shirt as a testament to my love for the Spanish maverick. Although his youthful rendezvous’ and fascination for young men were unusual, Basket of Bread (1926) and Sugar Sphinx (1933) are two oil-on-canvas Dalinian masterpieces that are pure joy to gaze at. The artwork featured on this t-shirt was an advertisement for the Surrealist manifesto that Dali was an early advocate for. Featuring a man (modeled after the tragic St. Sebastian) from a mustard seed advertisement, this poster has classical Dali motifs (i.e. ants, his nursemaid Lucia, melting clocks, keys to unlock the subconscious, a soft self portrait) sprinkled throughout the unsightly yellow hue. At least the black haired man looks dapper as hell with a mustache, striped pantaloons, and burgeoning six-pack.

Bloopers

PHOTO CREDITS TO ALEXANDRIA C. V. PATEL, THE BEST SISTER EVER