Disagreeing With Stephen King

by

Mackenzie Patel

Hello all! Judging by title, I’m sure many people are shaking their heads in ire and pounding their little fists on the counter. However, fear not, I’m just a sprig of opinionated parsley in the kitchen of a French restaurant. I just finished reading On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft by Stephen King, and while it is an invaluable guide to writing, a few qualms are boiling in my juvenile head. This is the first book I’ve read by the bestselling giant, despite his 50+ books in constant publication (I’m not a horror/sci-fan gal). This critique is based on the writing guidelines he advocates, not the substance of his fiction novels.

The beginning of the book, the memoir part, was interesting as a reader that knew nothing about Stephen King. I learned about the key stages that molded him as a writer, from writing for the local paper to nearly being suspended for a satire magazine to getting smooshed by a van. One of the first pieces of writing advice Stephen wrote was “Use the first word that comes to mind.” I disagree with this because sometimes, the first one isn’t necessarily the right one. I enjoy playing with and pushing the boundaries of language, not just using simple words. I morph my words like spun sugar, twisting, squeezing, jellying them until something new arises. Stephen says writing is only about “the story,” but I think experimenting with language is important as well. Stephen was also adamant about not using adverbs. NO! Adverbs are essential to my writing, and without them, my writing is a dull shell of itself. Words ending in “ly” are my best friends, as evidenced by:

“And good thing I’m not an easily distracted schmuck,” he laughed. “Where’s your longboard? This lesson isn’t over yet, Tracy or no Tracy.” And he redid his man bun, combing his ringed fingers through his wavy hair and slowly, painfully, artfully, twisted it back into the peeking, golden donut.

This excerpt is part of a short story I recently wrote. I used three adverbs (“slowly, painfully, artfully”) and without them, the entire paragraph loses its literary substance. I didn’t use the adverbs because I’m a poor or timid writer (as Stephen King suggests). I use them for the delightful effect of parallelism in my work. Also, I think of these particular adverbs as identifying descriptions for my character (he’s anal about his man bun). Stephen doesn’t like passive tense either, and I agree with this. Passive is boring, wordy, and in unable to conjure striking images for the reader. “I ate the cat” will always be more effective than “The cat was eaten by me.”

As for dialogue, Stephen wrote that the best form of dialogue is “said.” For example,

“Let’s cut off the beetle’s head,” said Katie or “I hate buttons,” said Joseph. While “said” is the easiest way to deliver lines, I disagree with it being the only way to do it. Frequently in my writing, I use “murmured,” “shouted,” or “whispered.” Stephen claims this is a bad habit because the writing/descriptions before the dialogue should set up the way the dialogue is delivered. But if two of my characters are breaking into a church, they’re going to “whisper”, not “say” something! Variation is the queen of an interesting story with developed characters as the kings. For example,

“Mable Clearing wrote the note,” I whispered to myself, touching her name once again and willing this inhuman look of stone to be alive. Jules dissolved in a heap of dirt and tears to the ground, his bones jutting out in unsettling angles.

In the same story, the girl is speaking to herself, realizing the grave was for the owner of the Anna Karenina note. In the darkness of a swiftly descending night, it only made sense for the girl to whisper in the English countryside.

Despite these nitpicks, I do think Stephen taught some valuable lessons in On Writing. One of the first aphorisms Stephen reiterates is “Write with the door closed. Revise with the door open.” I agree with this statement whole-heartedly because struggling with a first draft while listening to another’s opinion is nerve-wracking. Along with this saying, King stressed the importance of the story and the author’s truth in telling that story. Refining dialogue, crafting believable characters, and quadruple checking grammar all contribute to a writer’s singular goal: telling a truthful story. I sometimes lose myself in a maze of flowery description, but this advice has definitely help reel my adjective-happy spirit back in. Stephen also says the key to a successful writing career is to “Read a lot. Write a lot.” As an over-zealous book enthusiast, I do not doubt the validity of this maxim. I am a slow reader, but the satisfaction I get from finishing a novel is a pleasure unlike any other. Especially since University let out, I write oodles of words every day, some more skillfully arranged than others. Stephen included a list of books and publications to better read the publishing market (and after reading this memoir, I subscribed to The New Yorker and bought Strunk&White’s holy grail to writing, The Elements of Style.) However, Stephen advocated writing/reading 4 to 6 hours a day. I disagree with this number because it is simply unrealistic, at least for a college student like me. During classes, I’m lucky if I can get an hour in of both (and the case is the same for most people). Also, making that writing/reading schedule so strict drains all the spontaneous pleasure out of it. I tried squeezing my creativity into a timetable, but I discovered my writing was worse and not inspired. I do think one should write or read every day, but not that long—Stephen’s job is as a professional writer, but majority of us don’t have that luxury.

Overall, I am glad I picked up this nifty catechism on writing. Some of the chapters weren’t my cup of tea, but seeing as Stephen is a multi-millionaire author and I’m a nobody nineteen-year-old, I swallowed it all the same. However, writing 6 hours a day or reading every publishing manual in the world can’t guarantee success—more than half is pure luck.

Favorite quotes from On Writing:

“Writing is seduction. Good talk is part of seduction. If not so, why do so many couples who start the evening at dinner wind up in bed?”

“But I think you will find that, if you continue to write fiction, every character you create is partly you.”

“Someone…wrote that all novels are really letters aimed at one person. As it happens, I believe this.”